I LOVE the Real Housewives shows, they are definitely my guilty pleasure. Season 3 of The Real Housewives of New York just ended and I had to post this hilarious parody of the show. If you loved the show you will love this. Warning, it is R rated for language but completely worth watching if you're a housewives fan!
Last year I starting using Smashbox photo finish foundation primer. I love it, but I don't love the price. It's around $40 for 1 oz. A couple months ago while perusing around on the interwebs, I came across a certain product that sells for around $5 and is the exact same formula as the Smashbox primer. What is this product you ask?
Yes, Monistat Chafing Relief Powder Gel. I don't know who figured this out, or how they figured it out, but it has saved me some major $$$! If you love the Smashbox primer, or are in the market for a good primer, this stuff is amazing.
WEAR SUNSCREEN
Last Thursday was our section retreat for work. It's basically like a day off (even though work is discussed) because we don't actually go into the office and we're usually done around 2 and then we can just go home. It was at my coworkers house and he has an awesome deck with an amazing view so we hung out on the deck the whole time. It was nice weather, definitely more cloudy than sunny, but warm and pleasant. I didn't even think about wearing sunscreen. Usually I'm pretty good about it because I burn very easily. So from 9-2 I was outside sans sunscreen. I ran a few errands on the way home, did some stuff around the house and made dinner. At about 7 I started feeling not so great. I can't really explain it, I just couldn't do anything other than just lay there. I hung out on the couch until about 8pm when I was ready for bed feeling completely exhausted. Karl got home from work at about 10 and walked into the bedroom. He sat down by me and was like "What's wrong with your face?" Apparently I had gotten sunburned and didn't even realize it, and boy was it a fabulous sunburn. It was only on half of my face with a raccoon eye from my sunglasses. Oh, and even the top of my head along the part line in my hair was sunburned. Awesome. I think I must have gotten sick from being in the sun and getting sunburned. Luckily the sunburn toned down quite a bit the next day. However that leads me to my current situation: peeling skin. Half of my face is peeling and sloughing off dead skin, real cute. And remember how the part line in my hair got sunburned? Well that is peeling too, so now I have dead skin dandruff.
I couldn't give this valuable tip without posting this song, especially since it was specifically for the awesome class of '99. It's a little long but it does have some other great advice in it and will probably make you smile.
Ok, it's definitely not normal for girls to have abs like that. Thanks a lot Megan Fox for continuing to perpetuate this totally unattainable standard that women try to live up to! Totally lame.
If you so desire, you can see more gratuitous pictures of Megan's ridiculous abs here
http://shitmykidsruined.com/
Ya...........it's probably gonna be awhile before Karl and I do the whole "having kids" thing.
p.s. Missy & Steph - this site makes your kids look like freakin' angels, even Belle! Not that your kids aren't angels though ;)
As some of you know I like to bake and I have a huge sweet tooth. I especially love pie. I even had pies at my wedding (well there was a cake too but that was Karl's deal not mine and a complete disaster!) Remember my Christmas list a few posts ago, and I wanted a cookbook called Baking, Fom my Home to Yours? Well I just went ahead and bought it a couple of weeks ago since I didn't get it for Christmas, big surprise. It has hundreds of recipes, seriously HUNDREDS! I was in a citrusy mood so I decided to try the Florida Pie as my first recipe from the cookbook. It's basically a key lime pie, but with some coconut and a meringue topping. I'm not a fan of meringue so I just did a whipped cream topping. It was so delicious! At least what I remember from the tiny piece that I got. I made the pie on Sunday and Karl and I had a little piece that night because it was kind of late after having to freeze it for a couple of hours. The next day I went to work, went to bootcamp, and then came home. I was dreaming of having another piece of this yummy pie ALL. DAY. LONG. It was the first time I had ever made this kind of pie and although it wasn't too difficult to make, it wasn't super easy and I was so proud of it that I was going to post a picture of it here on my blog. Well I get home from bootcamp and Karl is actually off work, which is extremely rare because he usually doesn't get off until 9 or later. I walk in the door and he tells me that he gave the pie to our friends Brad and Sarah. YOU WHAT?!!! THE WHOLE PIE?!!! YOU DIDN'T EVEN SAVE US A LITTLE PIECE?!!! Yes, the truth is I had planned on giving it away, but I wanted one last taste at least! And the kicker is I know that he had a piece for himself before he gave it away! Brad did call and say how good it was and that it was all gone the next day. Karl says he had to get rid of it before we ate the whole thing ourselves. But what he really means is he would have eaten 85% of the pie and I would have gotten about 15% if I was lucky. Oh well I'll just have to make it again.
Ok, something is seriously wrong with our healthcare system when Karl is double covered and for a $178.00 bill, after already billing both insurance companies, our total left to pay is 169.10?! WTF! Between 2 insurance companies they paid a total of $8.90! Since I've started the rant on insurance companies I'll mention my other issue with them, birth control. Seriously, the cost of my birth control goes up every single year. $5, then $10, now $25, (that is after I meet my $300 dollar prescription deductible (that's a whole other issue) but before I get to that it is $65!). If there is one thing that I think they should pay 100% of, this is it. So what if I stop taking it because it's so expensive, would they rather cover the cost of me being pregnant and having a baby?! This planet is overpopulated as it is and we certainly don't need any more people having babies simply because birth control is too expensive! Birth control should be more readily available and affordable.
Ok, now I have to say that I am grateful to have any insurance at all because Karl always gets mad at me for being upset, when compared to some my insurance isn't so bad. It's just lame that every year I pay more for it but I get way less in coverage than the previous year. Boo on insurance companies.
This is Ninja, Karl's kitty. He's very clear that it's his cat, even though kitty clearly loves me more. I got Karl this kitten for his 30th birthday. He had been talking for a few months about getting a kitty (a dog is waaay too much responsibility) so I surprised him on his birthday with little Ninja. Little did I know Karl still acts like a 7 year old when it comes to caring for pets. First of all Karl likes to remind me that "they always land on their feet" by constantly tossing him around. He also pulls on the kitty's tail, cuddles (more like smothers), chases and basically messes with the cat constantly. Whenever Karl's home Ninja never knows what he's in for. He will be hanging out minding his own business or even sleeping and Karl will go grab him and start playing "the claw". This is where Karl gets the cat to attack his hand and then he pins him down just to show him who's boss. It's pretty funny though because whenever Karl is playing with him or even just holding him, Ninja has "angry ears". He folds his ears all the way back when he's mad and he looks really mean. Coincidence that we only see the angry ears when Karl "plays" with him? I think not. Karl also likes to call the cat everything but his name. Things like the usual kitty or Kitty McKitterton, but he also says things like little shit head, and other various profanities. But he does say it in a baby voice so it doesn't sound bad at first and then you're like wait, what did you just call him?! Oh, and I'm the one that has to feed him, even though it's his cat.
Karl had to put him on the caribou to see what he would do. What did he do? Nothing really.
PS - thanks to my good friend and old roomie JRun for coming up with his name, even though he only answers to kitty. Oh, and later I'll have to write about the ordeal at the Humane Society while trying to adopt him.
What's with the horrible customer service lately?
Example #1
Firehouse Pizzeria
About a month ago I ordered some food from Firehouse to go. I was going to take it to Bax because she just had surgery and couldn't really go anywhere. We love Firehouse, their food is delicious, and so is their dessert called a fh'zookie. Ya know, cookie dough cooked in a little skillet pan with ice cream and chocolate and caramel on top? Well I asked if they cook do that as a to go and they said yes. I picked up the food and headed down to Bax's. Note: Firehouse is in Centerville, Bax lives around 2100 S & 300 E. in SLC. I didn't check to make sure everything was there because there were about 5 or 6 to go boxes, there was no way that there was any food missing. I get to Bax's and of course no fh'zookie. The one thing we were most excited about they forgot. I called them up and told them they left it out of my order. Their response? "I really don't know what to tell you" Huh?! "You can come back and pick it up" Um no, I'm not driving all the way back up there. I was thinking of a response more along the lines of "oh, we're so sorry about that, we can send you a gift card or coupon for a free one" or something like that. Nope, I had ask for a coupon or gift card and they couldn't mail it, I had to go pick it up. Fine whatever, but the part that really irks me is he never once apologized or anything for the inconvenience or trouble. And it's not like I was being rude about it, I just wanted a damn fh'zookie that I had already paid for!
Example #2
The UPS Store
Wow, this guy is THE BIGGEST DBAG I have ever met. I've been to this UPS Store a total of 3 times. Every time I go there it's the same guy, and every time I leave wondering how he is still employed because he is so blatantly rude. This time was it though, I will never go there again. As soon as I walked in I remembered this asshole from the other times I've been in and knew this wasn't going to be pleasant. I'm selling my wedding veil to someone in New York and I wanted to go see how much shipping would cost. I got to the store at 6:40, they close at 7. The doors are locked, he sees me and decides to let me in. That's only because he though I was just dropping a package off, when he found out that he might actually have to work he gave me the dirtiest look. I told him I just needed to see what shipping would be for this package. He asks for the zip code, I didn't bring it with me. I didn't think this would be a problem because I used to work at the UPS store (awhile ago when it was Mailboxes Etc, but still I worked there) and we had to look up zip codes for people ALL THE TIME it was part of the job. And that was when you actually had to look it up in a huge book, no internet. I told him I didn't have it and asked if he could look it up. "Nope, I can't do that." Really?! So I'm already pissed because he really is the biggest prick I've ever met, and I grab the package and go to walk out. Well Karl is with me and he's like hold on. He asked Dbag "does your computer have internet?" Dbag responds "yes" Karl says "well can you go to Google and type in 'zip code Brooklyn New York' for me?" Dbag says "I guess" So he's on the computer trying to look up the zip code and he's mumbling and then says something like "this doesn't even f***ing have it" not quite in a mumble though, pretty loudly. Ok, I'm not easily offended, but I seriously couldn't believe it, he really just said the f word to a customer. I guess his googling skills aren't as advanced as mine but he eventually finds a zip code for New York and gives me a price. This little interaction from beginning to end takes a total of maybe 4 minutes max. I never thought I could get so pissed off in interacting with someone for so little of a period of time. I just can't even put into words or describe how seriously unpleasant this guy was but you can tell before you even talk to him, he just gives off this aura of Dbagness. Oh, so when we're leaving some other guys are walking in and they're like "Are you closing? " and Dbag says "I'm trying to!" Mind you, by now it's only 6:44.
Word to the wise DO NOT EVER GO TO THE UPS STORE ON 5TH SOUTH IN BOUNTIFUL, YOU WILL REGRET IT.
1. Baking: From My Home to Yours by Dorie Greenspan
2. Fresh Sugar Lemon Perfume
3. Le Crueset 5 1/2 qt Round French Oven
4. Flip Ultra HD High-Definition Digital Camcorder 
5. A honeymoon :)
Now I just need Karl to actually read my blog
I think I have successfully dodged the bullet called swine flu. Karl and my step-sis Tracy, (who is staying with us) both got the swine. Tracy got sick Thursday night, trip to the ER confirmed swine flu. They gave her Tamiflu and she was pretty much better the next day. Karl got sick Friday night, waited until Sunday to go to the ER. Figured they would give us Tamiflu, nope nada. He had to request a prescription for cough syrup which they gave us - about 3 tablespoons worth. They did offer to give him Lortab though. Um ok, you'll give him Lortab but not Tamiflu? I know you might get some body aches but come on, Lortab? That seems weird to me. Stingy with the cough syrup but pushing the Lortab?
So anywho, after being around Tracy, and then taking care of Karl all weekend I'm still not sick! Keeping my fingers crossed. Karl & I did get the swine vaccine on Friday but I thought that it might have been too late and I was already infected since Karl ended up getting sick. I'm going to attribute my healthiness to the green smoothies. One green smoothie every day kept the swine flu away!
This is the best lasagna recipe I've ever made. Granted I've only ever made one other lasagna recipe this is still a winner. Karl loves pasta dishes and requested lasagna a couple months ago. I made a lasagna and it was ok, nothing great but of course Karl ate it up, he's not picky. I came across this recipe online and decided to give it a shot. I was pleasantly surprised at how good it was. I mean I'm not a fan of Italian food, I'd rather have Mexican any day, but this was really good!
cover 'em in cheese
Mmmmm......cheesy & gooey!
I've been wanting a Vitamix for the past month or so. They're $450 though and there's no way Karl was letting me spend that on a blender (even though they are so much more than that and WAY better than any normal blender!) So I was going to secretly start hoarding some money so he couldn't say no if I had already saved up for it. Well, I went to Costco to go shopping for the hunting trip and guess what was on demo?? It was like a sign from God. I stood there and watched, listened, tasted, and then drooled over the Vitamix. I immediately texted Karl and sent him a picture of my green smoothie sample. He called me and after some negotiating I got the green light. I mean it was only $400 at Costco, how could you say no to that great deal?! The catch is he is making me find $400 worth of stuff in our house to sell. Ya, I'm still working on that, $85 down so far.
Anywhoo, Vitamix is the coolest thing ever. I've been drinking green smoothies for breakfast every morning and they are delicious! I have a bunch of recipes but they're mainly 2 cups of spinach mixed with some other fruit and veggies like grapes, pineapple, carrots, oranges, apples, bananas, etc. I also made us some awesome pina colada's. Seriously if you have a hard time getting your fruits and vegetables for the day, this is the way to go!
My first green smoothie
Smooth, creamy, green deliciousness!
